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New to Alaska and still getting the hang of taking photos here.
This project is born out of frustration. Frustration with the lack of interest and, frankly, the lack of respect for this niche. Yes, it’s a niche within a niche: depression and suicide ideation. You’d think these themes would resonate deeply with the mental health community. Surprisingly, they do not. Even those who identify as suffering from depression have turned away. But this work isn’t here to be liked. These photos are raw, unfiltered, and real. Each image carefully crafted from direct accounts of survivors. Nothing is staged for the sake of drama. Everything is approved by those who’ve lived these moments.
I won’t apologize for these depictions. I won’t water them down to make them palatable for people who are too uncomfortable to face the truth. Society left these individuals to fend for themselves, medicated them into numbness, and abandoned them to institutions. Where were the friends, the family, the “support” everyone loves to talk about? Nowhere. And yet, when I capture these stories, real stories, from real people there’s pushback. “This isn’t what depression looks like,” they say. But how would they know? these survivors are fighting wars with themselves everyday. Wars that most of us can’t even imagine.
I’ve been told to put my camera down. I’ve been told to rethink this project, to “understand” depression better. As if I haven’t lived it myself. But I refuse to change my approach. I refuse to sanitize these moments for the sake of comfort. To do so would be to silence those voices, just as society already has. I won’t forget their stories.
These photos are created with a mix of digital, 35mm film, half-frame film, medium format film, and 4×5 film. Every prop was made by hand. Every model volunteered their time and believed in this project because they understand how important it is to tell these stories. Honestly, and without compromise.
Medium Format on Kodak 400TX
Ilford PanF 50 shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
Kodak 400 TX shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
4x5 film shot with FPP Frankenstein 200
Ilford Delta 100 shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
Ilford PanF 50 shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens on a Pen FT 35mm Half-Frame camera
Ilford PanF 50 shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens on a Pen FT 35mm Half-Frame camera
Ilford Delta 100 shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
Kodak 400TX shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
Kodak Eastman Double X shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
Kodak 400TX shot with a Nikon 85mm PCE Tilt-Shift Lens
I have had the absolute honor to photograph some amazing people, from MMA fighters to Sumo wrestlers to aspiring models and musicians I have loved the people that photography has introduced me too.
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Mei “V.V” Yamaguchi
Musashimaru Kōyō
As much as I love thought portraits with practical props. Building a scene with those props and the sculpting lighting. I love equally as much catching people in their element, doing what they do best. From street vendors to MMA champions they each are professionals in their craft and it is amazing to watch them work.
Enson Inoue
Musashimaru Kōyō stables.
Sarah McCann
Tsuyoshi Sudario
Sarah McCann
I love taking requests and trying new things. One of my favorite types of photos are doing themed shoots for Halloween or for causes. I would like to do a Halloween photoshoot each year if I can. One of my bucket lists shoots is a MMIW themed shoot.